How Working at HMV Over the Holidays Prepared Me for the Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse


It was Saturday, December 22nd, 2012 and I had been charged with the task of restocking the campaign DVDs and blu-rays in alphabetical order. We had all been given strict instructions to work efficiently and fast. Today was anticipated to be the worst day yet. Everything up until this point was a cake walk.

The gates weren’t scheduled to open until 10:00am but even as early as 9:23 I could see the throng of milling, listless bodies shuffle about just beyond the gates.

“Are you guys open yet?”

Shit. Must stock faster, I told myself. I had been at this for an hour, repairing the damages incurred yesterday and I was only on “Daddy Day Care”. I worked distractedly, one eye never leaving the hoard at the gates. I was already sweating.

At 9:56, I looked up from my work. It was almost time; none of my peers were ready. I sure as hell wasn’t  The throng beyond the gates had grown to about 150 and the gate would be opening in three minutes. I will never forget the way they just slithered back and forth behind the Plexiglas, never once breaking eye contact.

There was no time left to prepare. We had to make our stand here and now or die. It was as simple as that. Continue reading

Chivalry is Dying but the Feminists Aren’t Killing It


“Dear Madam, I find thee exceptionally captivating and would be honoured is thou didst accompany me to a most excellent dance rave this night.”
“Thank you, dear sir, for the emphatic offer but I disirest not to be wooed at this time.”
“Very well, milady. As disappointed as the answer finds me, I must accede to thine own self-wisdom. Shouldst your position alter, I pray, considereth me!”
“O, I shall, good sir! I shall!”

I’m getting a little tired of hearing how the feminists have ruined chivalry for us  straight men.

A recent article/essay from Psychology of Women Quarterly defined acts of chivalry as “benevolent sexism” and since then there has been no shortage of responses to this redefinition. Why are the mean feminists making it so hard to be respectful? Why do they hate gentlemanliness so much?

And aside from the article from the quarterly publication and its reactions, the internet is a great place to find inane articles where feminism is pitted against chivalry. As if to suggest that, only one of these two incompatible forces can survive and, right now, it looks like feminism has taken the lead.

Continue reading

Unsustainable Music; What Dubstep Means to Me


This past Christmas season, I spent many hours working in an HMV store in one of Victoria’s major malls. For those unaware, HMV is a big music retailer in Canada and was in the UK, evidently. What made the job so engaging for me, speaking as a major audiophile, was the conversations I got to have with customers who desperately needed help finding the perfect CD for those on their shopping lists. Looking for a CD for a Michael Bublé fan that already has all the Bublé? Try Michael Kaeshammer, friend! Your girlfriend loves Norah Jones but has all her solo stuff? Well get her The Little Willies, guy! These are the conversations I live for and talking music springs life in me the way few other conversations do.

I’d have to say that the most memorable conversation, however, was with a sweet old lady who was looking for some music for her fifteen-year old grandson.

Continue reading