“Dear Madam, I find thee exceptionally captivating and would be honoured is thou didst accompany me to a most excellent dance rave this night.”
“Thank you, dear sir, for the emphatic offer but I disirest not to be wooed at this time.”
“Very well, milady. As disappointed as the answer finds me, I must accede to thine own self-wisdom. Shouldst your position alter, I pray, considereth me!”
“O, I shall, good sir! I shall!”
I’m getting a little tired of hearing how the feminists have ruined chivalry for us straight men.
A recent article/essay from Psychology of Women Quarterly defined acts of chivalry as “benevolent sexism” and since then there has been no shortage of responses to this redefinition. Why are the mean feminists making it so hard to be respectful? Why do they hate gentlemanliness so much?
And aside from the article from the quarterly publication and its reactions, the internet is a great place to find inane articles where feminism is pitted against chivalry. As if to suggest that, only one of these two incompatible forces can survive and, right now, it looks like feminism has taken the lead.
There has been a great deal of conversation online these days about what is known as the “friend zone”. For those of you who are unaware of what or where this place is, it is that strange, hypothetical place where a guy (and it is always a straight, cissexual guy) sometimes feels he goes when the girl of their dreams refuses (or is ignorant of) their romantic advances. The romancer is then left to dangle, hoping that the potential “romancee” will one day realize how great he is, come to her senses, and take him up as their boyfriend or lover. In the meantime, the romancer’s heart is ripped asunder afresh each and every day that the two cannot be together since he generally seems to spend his time helping his crush deal with her life problems while taking the romantic back-seat: i.e. being a friend.
When put that way, it sounds almost poetic, doesn’t it? I’m sure the users of the term would like to think there is some elements of classic tragedy in the suffering they endure. But the truth is it is just male entitlement, plain and simple. It’s just a bit more of a passive-aggressive flavour than we normally see.
Mmm! So womanly.
Last week, my friend Sebastian and I volunteered to grill hamburgers at a public barbeque. We were both sequestered to our own separate grills and assigned a patty variety: Sebastian would be in charge of the veggie patties and I would be responsible for the beef. As the break between classes neared, we both loaded our grills in preparation for the hungry students that would soon discover free food on campus. There was never any question that we would push more beef burgers than veggie as that is usually the case with barbeques (beef is simply a more popular choice) but what surprised me was how adamantly veggie patties would be denied by the men.
The ensuing horde of students looking for a free burger made it impossible for me to keep up with the demand. My grill was simply not hot or large enough to keep the line moving without the occasional gap in service. But while I tried to gain lost ground and feed the hungry masses, there stood Sebastian next to me who, it seemed, could not even give his veggie burgers away, at least not to men anyway. Sure, there were a few females who approached Sebastian for a burger and even the odd man but for the most part, the male population of Lakehead University rejected the veggie patties with an animosity that goes beyond an aversion to the taste. Continue reading